it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
