if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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