Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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