man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
