I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
