If that was your dad, he is hot
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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