YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she told me i tasted like america
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
