Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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