had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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