his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
