almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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