I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize