I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
