we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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