I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
