I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
