Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
