i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
