Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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