If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
