You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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