Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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