Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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