There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
