when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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