my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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