I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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