No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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