i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
