had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they're like a gay fantastic four
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
