My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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