with your own penis?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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