White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Terrible idea I love it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
