lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
