We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
