she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
