Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
