saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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