Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
