sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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