hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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