I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
