I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize