we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize