I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
