you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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