Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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