Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.