I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet