they need to just BURY HIM!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box