So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.