Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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