Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
