Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i permit you to call me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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