To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize