last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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