Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
