Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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