he shaved USA in his pubs
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
