Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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