So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
