Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
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I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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