thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
