I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
