i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Randomize
