glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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